Spring has come! Weey! (^O^)

At last! Spring has come to our late country. Sunny shining, around 10 degrees in the air, snow drops are popping out here and there. And it's already April.

I always get this panic feeling whenever a new month arrives. It hasn't been like this before, but since my life isn't steady at all, every month gives me panic. Thoughts like "what have I done for a whole month?" or "I'm still standing on the same f*cking spot in life!" are always running through my head whenever a new month begins. And so it started again.

But, this time, the skating season ended just before April, and now I have time to really do what I have to to make a move.
A move, yes. This move is, as the word say, move from here and to Tokyo. It's not going to be easy, no one has told me so. And I know, I've been thinking for it for so long. But I have to, I feel like I can't achieve anything by being here. Of course I'm teaching/coaching the skaters and do something for others. But me as a person, I'm not developing as a human being.

...I think I've been written this thing a few times before..?
So, I'll skip this, I've said same things over and over again, but in different months..hehe.

And now, I've found a place, not the cheapest, but enough. It's near to my host family and near to the center of Tokyo. It has everything without all the coin-machines you can find in other houses. The only thing is, I wanna have a single room, but it will cost too much, I think. I have to work more if I'm gonna be able to pay the rent. So a shared room with 3 others. Not the best, but I won't be able to get so many things with me anyway, so a smaller space would be enough. I'm just wondering if I'll be able to practice bass when I'm sharing with others... Of course, I'll be trying to practice when there aren't any others in the room. But then, would there be such times..?
Anyway, I'm worrying for such small things...

I've found a job, kind of... The question is, are they recruiting new staff anytime, or are they gonna contact me when they need new staff?? If the latter, the chance of having the job will be much smaller. I will have to search for other jobs... with good payment as well and much work times.

The thing that's left is, to talk with my parents of my thoughts.

The hardest thing. I've tried today, but never got the timing. Or I had a chance when me and mum went out with our dog for a walk today, but I wasn't sure how to begin... What a coward I am...(-__-)

I have to talk.


I'll practice some bass before watching the new episode of the japanese TV-show "Chocolat".