daydreamin'

Geez...how damn hard must it be to decide what to do next??

I've been thinking, researching, thinking again, the last couple of days about my future. I've been thinking about photography, astronomy, study abroad, writer, movie-related, etc. etc. I simply don't know what to do. Or where to go. I know I want to go somewhere else to study, but it's so expensive everywhere, and it feels like I have to plan a long time ahead before going anywhere. Work a bunch of money before starting an education somewhere.

What I know is, every world is hard, there is probably no world that is simple enough, if you want to become something big. I want to become big, I don't want to live somewhere and be there without anyone noticing. Ok, it sounds weird, but really, I can't see myself an usual daily life where every day are similar to each day. I have to have a daily life full of different things, every day has to be different, or I'll crash...

I want to go somewhere I've never been before. Cities I haven't visited, like London, NYC, or Paris?

I want to do so many things, yet I'm sitting here like always. Tired of my self.

What I feel now is, I have to start an education.

What kind of education? Where? Does it have a future? Do I see a future in it?

There's so much going on in my head. I'm going to explode soon...! And, daydreaming, I could write a whole book, or even more with all these daydreaming I'm doing day in and day out. I could do a movie with every daydream I'm having. Daydreamer=Me.

Maybe that's why I love to watch movies, I love to get into an another life, another daylife. I think I'm watching movies to get away from the present for some hour.

I'm surely a daydreamer...

oh rainy days...

So, a lot's of things have happened since we got into June.
First off, my brother graduated, and we had to prepare a lots of things for his graduation. We cleaned more than half our house (the rest was 'hidden' from public...), mum made a lots of food. After his graduation, the last practice for the skaters were two days after. As the two previous sundays, we ran. But even if it was the last practice, there were only 8 skaters...

Anyway, so now I don't work. I've got nothing to do. Which is boring.
But it's not only boreness. One of my friends who studies in GB, she came home, so me and my friend met her up for a whole day of fun things! Unfortunately the weather wasn't satisfying, it was cold and a bit rainy. But with friends, you start to forgot all those things.
We had a great time together, and we'll do it again in a near future.

I've also seen a lots of movies while the rain's been raining all the days lately.
First off, Amélie was one of the movies I really got stuck with. In a good way. I've heard the music from the movie a lots of times, 'cause it seemed to be very popular in the skating world. Lot's of girls had the beautiful part of the music. And Kristoffer Berntsson had the other music for two years as his short program. I also love the music, but hadn't had the chance to watch the movie for some reason... So my friend (who came home from GB) lend it to me. And I sat one evening to watch. I surely can't any french at all, so I had to read the subs all the time. Even so, I got into the movie for every second. And I loved it!
So artistic, different kind of story, great colors, and great camera angles. And Audrey Tatou is so cute. The part that shows her childhood at the beginning, there were quite many things I also did when I was a child. Like blowing grass to get a sound.
This movie is a must, for those who likes some different kind of movie.

I've also started to really try to find something I want to study. I've looked up a little on the net. I know that I want to study somewhere else than here. But where, I'm not sure. And also what. I love photography, but I don't think I can live on that. Or can you?
I would like to try many kinds of photography, like sport, art, people, but I can't find a good education...
Or maybe something different?? It must be something very interesting, or I can't do it.
Well well, this thinking has been going on a very long time. I know I don't want to be stuck here.

I have to book a flight soon.

Celebrations!!

Today, is the day, that we always remember as the day, when GLAY major debuted, 15 years ago! (^O^)
Tomorrow, is the day, that we always remember as the birthday of GLAY's leader Takuro! (^O^)
Two days of celebration!! So I celebrate with two cupcakes, one "Orange Chocolate Chip" and one "Blueberry". I've only eaten the first one, but later today I'll grab the second! Or maybe grab it tomorrow..? Nah, it may not be as delicious as today. I'll eat it later then.

My body aches from yesterday's running. Here and there, can't walk properly but have to. So I went to the city looking for some clothes and presents for two friends that's gonna have a b-day party on saturday. It was sunny, probably over 20 degrees, I went to so many shops without finding anything good. I walked for about 4 hours, and the results were a pair of brown pilot sunglasses, a pair of light-colored chinos, two pairs of earrings for one of my friends, one book "Marley and me" for my other friend, and at last I found a onepiece, not the color I wanted, but the best one I found after so much search. Military green, I wanted something lighter in color, because it's summer. But this one was the best, so the color comes next.

After this, my legs and feet were weird, probably tired. I took a nap. It was very good.

I also sat and watched the new dorama, "MR.BRAIN" starring Kimura Takuya and Ayase Haruka, and others. I'm not a fan of KimuTaku, but I love Ayase, and it seemed like an interesting dorama. But KimuTaku always does similar characters. Even if the characters isn't that similar, he's always acting them so likely that you know every movement he does, because he's doing them in every dorama. But if you don't think of that, I might follow it.

I've heard that the swine flu has reached Tokyo. I don't know if I should go there anymore. But I have to attend Nissan Stadium live. I hope they won't cancel it due to this flu. Can't the flu just go away, end?

"It's called a lance, hellooo"

Yesterday, me and my friend watched "A Knight's Tale" with Heath Ledger. It was quite a long time since we saw it last time, so we decided to watch it yesterday, even if we knew how the movie is from the beginning to its end. But I love this movie, it's one of the few movies I can watch over and over again, without getting bored. It has so many fun moments, and so many jokes taken from the movie. I can't believe Heath Ledger isn't alive anymore...R.I.P.
Everything is just great in the movie!
We also saw behind the scenes, and deleted scenes.

And today, we had a practice. Or, running in the woods... I haven't been training for so long, probably over 2 yrs. So it was very hard for me to follow. We were running for a time, stopped to let the skaters do some exercises, ran again, exercise, ran, exercise, etc... Okay, I didn't do the exercises, but I ran almost all the time. I really hate to run, above all the sports exercises you can do. But it was kind of refreshing to run, especially with people around you. Some were dead only half way, but there were some few skaters who actually did every exercise and the running between.

In about an hour, we're going to the B-ambassador. They're doing a 'party', dunno exactly what, but dad said something about kinds celebration or something.. Anyway, I don't know what to wear, I don't have nice clothes these days... Didn't find anything good on friday when I went to look for clothes... So I'll have to end here, so that I can find something to put on.

Overcome...

Today I finished reading this book: "Overcome - Alexei Yagudin". A biography of Alexei, I bought this book some years ago, but didn't have time to sit and read it. But now when I really got time, I started to read it before go to bed. But it was so exciting to read it, so I ended up reading it as soon as I had some time doing nothing. It was really interesting, and you got to know what really happened in his mind and around him during all these years until his rise as an alltime champion. Sometimes when I read the book, I watched his performances on YouTube to really understand what he meant in the book. So I was watching at the same time I was reading. It was good, because then I got the chance to watch his previous programs around 10 years ago from now.

The book was published year 2004, I think.

After reading this, I really understand now that it takes so much to really become a champion in figure skating. Looking at my brother, it seems like he's got no chance. Okay, if he only wants to participate, then okay maybe. But to really become something... And I think the same of Evgeni Plushenko, I think he was giving everything too and wanted the same thing as Alexei.

So, first of May. Time to turn the next page of the GLAY calendar of 2009. The coming two months, I'll be looking at Takuro. The last two months were Teru. Now's the leader. And it's the time when I really have to do something.

The trees and everything blooms now, everything is slightly green and I think that makes my eye still red a bit, and it's only the left eye. So I haven't been wearing my lenses today. Which means, I have to wear glasses, which means that I can't see that clear.

Oh, how much I hate to have bad eyes... I really envy my second brother, he's the only one in our family that got splendid eye sight.

Anyway, I have to go and eat something.

Can't come up with a title...

Omg... (ok, I don't like these shorties, but I'll have to use it now.)

Time flies by, like nothing else... Here we go again, standing on the same spot, doing nothing, not getting any better.

And again, this panic feeling at the end of every month... It seems like I can't get rid of it until I know what will come up next.

Oh, I'm so negative, but it's because:

1. I have one-day lenses (usually use month-lenses) that just don't fit my eyes = I can't see clear at all, which irritates me so much.
2. Well, nothing gets better, it seems like I'm gonna be stuck here still...

3. End of the month = thoughts of what the h*ll I'm doing.

4. I still can't see anything clear

5... etc etc.

I won't continue this crap-list.

I was planning on being i Tokyo at this time! Why won't they let me go??

I'm not doing anything anyway, and it seems like I won't be studying anything next season. So why have me stuck here anyway at first place?

And the contact lenses, it's because I'm allergic to something out there, so my left eye still gets red from time to time, which means I don't want to use my monthly-lenses so they get worse. Instead it's better using dailies so that I can throw them after a day = dirt won't stuck in my eyes, if there's something on the lenses after being outside.

But I can't see!! = irritates me to the top of everything

I'll go into something nicer.

Last saturday, my friend and her sister and I went to see the Sakura-trees in town, if they have start blooming. So we took our cameras, went out and there they stood blooming for everyone. (The Sakura-festicval should have been this saturday...)

The weather was just niice, sunny, no clouds, temperature around 18 degrees. Sakuras' were beautiful, we sat there and photographed what came into the camera lens.

Just chilled, like everyone else in the park. One of the best times this month.

Here's one of the shot I took with my camera:

FINALLY!!

YES!!

FINALLY my HAPPY SWING issue arrived today!! (^O^)

It has never been this late before...almost three weeks since they posted it.

I was gonna send a letter to the fan club again, but fortunately I had no stamps at home. I planned to go to the post office today to send it, but what a timing!

This time it's the JIRO issue, a great photo session with Jiro and snowboard as a theme. I love the photos, they're all showing how much Jiro loves snowboarding! And it also makes me wanna snowboard again.

Oh, and one of my GLAY-friends had his 'trouble' on "The Rating"-part discussed by GLAY.

This issue made my boring day happy! since I don't have any plans today...

Maybe watching some doramas I've still haven't watched?